the day

it's the day..the day when results is to be announced soon
i was so so so tired yet i couldn't get myself to sleep yet
i keep thinking of it as i lay on my bed

i was thinking how if i failed any of the subjects??
or how if i failed each n every of it??
however,i'll not have the chance to look back
i can now only look at my results n cry??
blame myself for not working hard for it??

i AM so down recently
first of all..yes..results was what i was worried bout..
n this is what i can't change..
i know i can only tell myself to work harder on next semester

secondly,it's been something not well regarding to my relationship
relationships between friends n family.
i think i shall never give a great hope on someone else that will lend u a hand each n every time u need it
perhaps,wish that yourself could get over it without anyone's help would be better

then,i don't even know is this one of the reason.
some shitty feelings keep sticking onto my heart??
or is that my mind which was keep thinking bout something that i shouldn't have think of??
i hope myself don't give a damn on u
yet, u keep appearing "in front of" me..
can i just get my eyes off from u??
i don't know how could i feel that way
but it's the fact that i'm feeling that sux
sorry to be rude,yet i really really hate it
i hate the feeling that ever came back to me at this moment
after so long that i thought i had forgot how it feels
n that was all what i THOUGHT

i can't comment more on my life~
because i've made part of it that bad by myself
i know shouldn't blame and shall continue with it
i shall try my very best to get thru it
and most importantly to make it a BETTER life~

well..i thought i found a way to make myself better just now
cam-whore for the whole night
yet..i still gotta release it here

anyway..putting up this pic..n which do u think suits me more?? (=


or normal, leaving it down will do?? =D

finals ended, did my holidays actually started??

throughout the whole finals
i was really suffering from 'not enough sleep' and 'gastric'
as i really really got to sleep like max 3-4hrs a day??

yet..the worst news during my finals was my hamster was gone~!!
where did he goes?? did the cat ate him up??
how pity was him?? argh~!!! why?? why him??!! T.T

after the forth paper which left the one and onli paper on 19th of sept
it was Jia's sis wedding time~
well..it wasn't a bad time though..

then..the last paper done~
i found myself no way to rest well
up n down, in n out

at first, Chia Ann was leaving on the 25th of sept
so we were busy about her farewell n everyting
then, a chill out night with my UTAR BKB teammates
after tat is the time to send off Chia Ann d

then??Jerry's grooming la..
buy air tickets la..
book this n tat..
print this n tat
all are my job..

oh ya..bkb training at Kampar
although it wasn't a good experience..
yet..i got to know some nice friends n had some fun over dere

even until today..grandma is in hospital
i'm rushing in n out to catch up the time to visit her
or catching up time to fetch my bro
while nobody was willing to help me at all

now..i lost the thing i need the most now~!!
my smart tag~!!
i need to travel up n down from sunway to klang, klang to sunway
yet..my smart tag got stolen
why must everything happens at the same time??

such a tiring life huh..
wondering why did the director of my life dun give my story a fullstop here n give me sometimes to start my new chapter of life??!!

but..the most tiring thing wasn't of all those stated above
i'm tired of got blaming all time
(even if it's not my fault,can the hell world pls be fair to me??)
i'm tired of asking for help yet nobody was willing to help me
i'm tired of thinking for who to ask to accompany me to chill myself at the time i really need it
i'm tired of begging my brothers to go for supper with me
(do i need to really beg u??i dunnit to beg my frens in tat way)
i'm tired of being treated as no one at home
(can u pls respect me??can u pls LISTEN to wat i said??)

I dare not to wish for anything
but can u pls listen n respect??
or could u pls listen before u judge??
or....

this is why i love LISTEN so much
cuz it somehow is wat i hoped for
i wish..i could have a short break now before my new sem get started
pls let me rest~!!