the day

it's the day..the day when results is to be announced soon
i was so so so tired yet i couldn't get myself to sleep yet
i keep thinking of it as i lay on my bed

i was thinking how if i failed any of the subjects??
or how if i failed each n every of it??
however,i'll not have the chance to look back
i can now only look at my results n cry??
blame myself for not working hard for it??

i AM so down recently
first of all..yes..results was what i was worried bout..
n this is what i can't change..
i know i can only tell myself to work harder on next semester

secondly,it's been something not well regarding to my relationship
relationships between friends n family.
i think i shall never give a great hope on someone else that will lend u a hand each n every time u need it
perhaps,wish that yourself could get over it without anyone's help would be better

then,i don't even know is this one of the reason.
some shitty feelings keep sticking onto my heart??
or is that my mind which was keep thinking bout something that i shouldn't have think of??
i hope myself don't give a damn on u
yet, u keep appearing "in front of" me..
can i just get my eyes off from u??
i don't know how could i feel that way
but it's the fact that i'm feeling that sux
sorry to be rude,yet i really really hate it
i hate the feeling that ever came back to me at this moment
after so long that i thought i had forgot how it feels
n that was all what i THOUGHT

i can't comment more on my life~
because i've made part of it that bad by myself
i know shouldn't blame and shall continue with it
i shall try my very best to get thru it
and most importantly to make it a BETTER life~

well..i thought i found a way to make myself better just now
cam-whore for the whole night
yet..i still gotta release it here

anyway..putting up this pic..n which do u think suits me more?? (=


or normal, leaving it down will do?? =D

finals ended, did my holidays actually started??

throughout the whole finals
i was really suffering from 'not enough sleep' and 'gastric'
as i really really got to sleep like max 3-4hrs a day??

yet..the worst news during my finals was my hamster was gone~!!
where did he goes?? did the cat ate him up??
how pity was him?? argh~!!! why?? why him??!! T.T

after the forth paper which left the one and onli paper on 19th of sept
it was Jia's sis wedding time~
well..it wasn't a bad time though..

then..the last paper done~
i found myself no way to rest well
up n down, in n out

at first, Chia Ann was leaving on the 25th of sept
so we were busy about her farewell n everyting
then, a chill out night with my UTAR BKB teammates
after tat is the time to send off Chia Ann d

then??Jerry's grooming la..
buy air tickets la..
book this n tat..
print this n tat
all are my job..

oh ya..bkb training at Kampar
although it wasn't a good experience..
yet..i got to know some nice friends n had some fun over dere

even until today..grandma is in hospital
i'm rushing in n out to catch up the time to visit her
or catching up time to fetch my bro
while nobody was willing to help me at all

now..i lost the thing i need the most now~!!
my smart tag~!!
i need to travel up n down from sunway to klang, klang to sunway
yet..my smart tag got stolen
why must everything happens at the same time??

such a tiring life huh..
wondering why did the director of my life dun give my story a fullstop here n give me sometimes to start my new chapter of life??!!

but..the most tiring thing wasn't of all those stated above
i'm tired of got blaming all time
(even if it's not my fault,can the hell world pls be fair to me??)
i'm tired of asking for help yet nobody was willing to help me
i'm tired of thinking for who to ask to accompany me to chill myself at the time i really need it
i'm tired of begging my brothers to go for supper with me
(do i need to really beg u??i dunnit to beg my frens in tat way)
i'm tired of being treated as no one at home
(can u pls respect me??can u pls LISTEN to wat i said??)

I dare not to wish for anything
but can u pls listen n respect??
or could u pls listen before u judge??
or....

this is why i love LISTEN so much
cuz it somehow is wat i hoped for
i wish..i could have a short break now before my new sem get started
pls let me rest~!!

FINALS

well..it's again end of another sem..
i did not do well in my test and so my coursework marks are very low
even some of them failed
i've screw up all my subjects this sem as i wasn't paying attention all the time~
it was a seriously wrong step tat i've taken throughout this sem

n now..it's final exam time
am i too nervous for it now??
i couldn't sleep well each n every night~
i'm awake up to 5-6am
even if i could fall asleep
i'll sleep with mind with all MATHEMATICS
n i even dream of it
wat a nightmare~!!!!

i've no right to hope for anything now i think
yet i still hope tat i will not fail all my subjects this time
am working very hard for this finals~
n pray hard as well~

well..all the best dudes
hope ya'll will score with flying colors (=

RIP Ceci

You will be missed.. <3

believe it or don't ask.. XP

time passes very fast huh..
it's already 14th week of this sem..
n i'm still not ready yet..
i MUST..must...start preparing now d!!
so..i'll always carrying my notes everywhere?? hahaha

well..
i found tat people seems like dun trust me always..
argh..why huh??

seldom there's ppl will believe i dislike clubbing
then..whenever i said...i did not straighten my hair..
ppl will open their eyes big n said "are u sure?"
why not??
my hair is naturally STRAIGHT k??
n i'm so proud of it..
ngek ngek ngek~~

n the third thing...then ppl will ask how often u do hair treatment then??
"rarely...only do it right after i dyed my hair"
"dun lie lah....."
*m speechless*
then
"wat hair conditioner do u use??"
"i seldom use..if got also..take from aunt's saloon.. brand-less one.."
"huh??in how long time u'll use it once"
"one month once?? or maybe twice??"
"u r kidding me.."
ooiiiiiiiiiii...betul la deih...

anyway..not showing off over here..
m telling the truth tat...
dun lah keep asking but dun believe me at all..
why not u just dun ask??
hahahaha~~
*no offense ya*

kla...all test finished...
now come the last assignment...
done..hand up...
then say HI to finals..
all the best dudes.. (=

down.

i don't know why.
i'm down into the deep earth right now.

the reason shall not be told.
the secret shall not be revealed.

i've tried to set myself to the highest point as i thought i could.
yet, i had failed.

i thought i should be happy.
i'm not indeed.

tears are not falling down from my eyes, on my face.
but it is rolling deep inside my heart.

however, that's all i've chosen for myself.
no complaints shall be entertained.

the only thing is to blame myself.
blame myself for not being smarter.

i do know how life goes up and down.
don't comment if you think i'm complaining.
please understand,
i'm just trying to express my feeling and keeping the rest for myself.

10th week passed

10 weeks of this sem has passed!!
which means there's another 4 weeks for me to prepare for my final exam
yet..i don't think i had get anything prepared yet
as..i wasn't really really paying attention all the while..
isn't it??
so..i must try my best to get myself ready for the exam
so tat i'll get at least a 3.0?? haha
i hope tat's not only my dream
and hopefully it'll happen in reality as well

it's not a great week neither
got drunk at the beer factory tat day
i dunno why
but i was really tired tat day
tat's why i fall tat fast??
or..wat's happening me??
but..i know i gotta live my life a great one
cheer babe..
let's cheer (=
i know i can do it..

all the best guys..
let's work hard for our final exam (=